Mourning Morning

Today I had a new thought courtesy of a dear friend of mine. Here are the not new [for me] parts- When we go through life changes [marriage, divorce, graduating, having a child especially the first one by birth or adoption, health changes, moving, etc] we probably have at least some sort of mourning experience. Wherever there is change, physical death or otherwise, something is lost and therefore there is mourning over the identity, thing, person, etc that was lost. For example, after college there is typically a huge shift in identity and social connection. Unfortunately there seems to be an almost expected depression, hopefully brief, upon graduating college- the frat boy or dorm girl lifestyle is gone in a snap and suddenly graduates find themselves job searching.

Here is the medium thought- in a parent child relationship there can be mourning felt by the parent when the child goes through a life change such as debilitating injury like paralysis [things that were one physically possible are now not] or moving out of the family home [empty nest?].

Here is the rare [aka new-ish] thought[Not a new experience, but newly found words to explain it!] – peers mourn as a result of a fellow peer or peers going through a life change without them. There may be a perceived emotional or experiential wall that can not be moved until both parties have the same experience. It seems reasonable for someone to mourn the loss of a friend when they have not died at all, but there has been a change.

For example, The friend has had a [first] child while the other friend did not. Now the friend with the child has a major new interest- caring for their child while the shared interests of the friends may change, possibly decrease. Maybe one of the reasons people cry at weddings other than their own [besides the oozing with sweet theoretically forever love environment] is the sense that the relationship to the people getting married [whether parent, friend, or otherwise] will never be the same.

Maybe mourning or grief is one of the ways we are reminded that we are human because we feel something deep inside even when we may not be able to clearly identify- yep! that’s the pain- grief! Sometimes it is good to lose something or even mourn a loss. Of course I mean spiritually. When someone becomes a Christian by making their goal to live as Jesus Christ did and make God their priority, the Bible says that person is a new creation because the old has gone & the new has come! [2 Corinthians 5:17] Being made fully into a new creation, sanctification, is not easy and we may feel growing pains, but of course no one said life was easy and do not be fooled because the Christian life is even that much less easy!

Bottom line- change = mourning by the person going through the change and others around them, especially close relationships.

Proposed solution- prayer for extra grace. Why?

1) Prayer and focus on God and what God is doing in the situation shifts our attention to the bigger picture.

2) Grace = the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. [from Dictionary.com] Who couldn’t use more of that?

Goals-

1) To not reject or avoid mourning and grief because it reminds us of what we value and how human we really are.

2) Maintain a bigger picture attitude while still considering God’s plan for the individual. Loss and change are times to really let God shine by asking Him for help then returning credit and praise when we make it through!

3) Share the message of Love and Hope even when life seems to suck.

“My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” [Psalm 121]


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